Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
