We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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