That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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