its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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