Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
