Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize