dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
