no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
