I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
