When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
