he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
