i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
