You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize