i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I have post one night stand depression
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
