im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
