ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
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