I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
