I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
