I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
