So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
