i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
