I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
