You're completely useless in the revolution.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
