You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
