So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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