so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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