Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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