i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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