This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize