Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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