the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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