But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
