You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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