he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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