every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize