Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
