well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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