so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
