that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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