you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She even gives head with a lisp.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
