I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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