i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
