I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
