you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
