med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
