You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
id be glad to
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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