he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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