I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Randomize
