Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
