ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
high people should be assigned attendants
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
