Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize