dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
