Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Say something about gay babies.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
