So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
