is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
