my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
whose ass print is on the piano?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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