i would punch a child for taco bell
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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