is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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