Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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