i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
